AGALLOCH

October 1st, 2008 – 1135 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Genre(s) Atmospheric Folk/Dark Metal
Lyrical theme(s): Nature, Loss, Depression, Death, Winter
Origin: United States of America (Portland, Oregon)
Formed in: 1995
Current label: Unsigned
Status: Active

Sphere: Related Content
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Moon-walker claims alien contact cover-up

July 24th, 2008 – 2055 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches, Scandals

We all know that landing on the moon was a great big hoax and it all was filmed in a hollywood studio. Dr Edgar Mitchell being a veteran of the Apollo program must know all about cover ups and hoaxes. Apparently he also attempted ESP experiments while orbiting the earth so maybe he is just [...]


KATIE HOLMES DENIES ANAL BLEACHING

May 25th, 2008 – 1501 BRAVO

(Los Angeles, CA) Courtney Cox, Lara Flynn Boyle and now Katie Holmes? Yesterday, Defamer.com posted a picture of a bleached anus, captioned: “Katie Holmes–2008 New Year’s Resolutuion”. The matter would have pooped out there if a Star reporter hadn’t snapped a picture of Katie Holmes coming out of Pink Cheeks, a Sherman Oaks boutique that [...]


KORPIKLAANI

May 2nd, 2008 – 1441 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Korpiklaani (Forest Clan in Finnish) is a folk metal band from Finland. Korpiklaani is the new name of the band previously called Shaman, that was formed by Jonne Järvelä who still remains the mastermind of Korpiklaani. In contrast to Shaman which recorded songs in the original Sami language, Korpiklaani record mostly in English, but also [...]


CRUCIFIXION IS BAD FOR YOU

March 21st, 2008 – 2015 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Health officials in the Philippines warned the Roman Catholic faithful Wednesday that re-enacting the crucifixion could be bad for their health. (No shit, Sherlock!)
The reason they felt compelled to make this statement is the Philipino faithful’s tradition of having themselves crucified on Good Friday. Most of them however don’t go the whole way [...]


CRIMES OF FASHION - Muammar al Gaddafi

February 17th, 2008 – 2001 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches, Scandals

Oh deary me.
The Libian leader is wearing a silk embroidered button-up tunic strait out of a Bollywood romantic drama. Draped around his shoulders is a beach towel that would be the envy of any Campsbay moffie. Shading his steely gaze is a pair of 70’s pornstar sunglasses. He is wearing a fez at an [...]


WHO IS THIS VALENTINE DUDE ANYWAY?

February 14th, 2008 – 0003 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

St VALENTINE - A priest of Rome who was imprisoned for succouring persecuted Christians. He became a convert and, although he is supposed to have restored the sight of the goaler’s blind daughter, he was clubbed to death (c. 270).
His day is 14 February, as is that of St. Valentine, bishop of Terni, who was [...]


ALTERNATIVE ENERGY 101: WOOD

February 10th, 2008 – 1428 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource. If you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation [...]


CRIMES OF FASHION

January 29th, 2008 – 1105 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches, Scandals

This man (on the left wearing a fabulous vintage chiffon-lined Dior gold lamé gown over a silk YSL empire waist cocktail dress, accessorized with a 3-foot beaded peaked Galliano hat, and ruby slippers by Vivian Westwood, whilst clutching the staff that Charles Heston swung about in Moses) is worried that The Da Vinci Code might [...]


SHARKBROTHER … ET TU?

January 7th, 2008 – 1634 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Steve S, the erstwhile co-founder and bassist of aging prog/art rock band Sharkbrother had a New Years seance at his country retreat in the picturesque Magaliesberg.Together with his dearly beloved partner and band violanist Sam, aka, Magriet he hosted an exlusive and charming event to The Chosen. 
Around a geniuine wood fire (ably kept aflame by [...]