Russian spa opens monument to the enema

June 23rd, 2008 – 2336 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa’s director said Thursday.

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So What happened to Ubuntu?

May 20th, 2008 – 2311 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches, Scandals

“Ubuntu” is an ancient African word, meaning “humanity to others”. Ubuntu also means “I am what I am because of who we all are”. Ancient is the operative word here because there is definitely no Ubuntu left on this shithole continent we call Africa.
We all know what’s going on in South Africa and Zim [...]


SWAMP ROCK EXPLAINED

May 7th, 2008 – 2053 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Swamp rock is a distinct form of Roots rock that includes influences from such diverse genres as Zydeco, Cajun music, Swamp blues and Swamp pop. It first became prominent in American rock and pop in the late 1960s. Creedence Clearwater Revival defined much of the early “choogling” sound and subject matter associated with swamp rock, [...]


Seisoene verander in Lyttelton en Richmond

April 17th, 2008 – 2024 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Buckfever Underground, Nul, Plank en Trike se * lente toer skop volgende Maandag 21/4/2008 af by die Steak and Ale (beste klank in Gauteng) in Lyttelton en betower dan Johannesburg by die Bohemian in Richmond Woensdagaand 23/4/2008.
Bring julle baaikostuums die paartie gaan warm wees.
* AKA “The If You’re Leaving South Africa To Go To [...]


ABELARDE BANDS: BLACK EYED SUSAN

April 15th, 2008 – 1742 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

No frills hard rock four piece outfit with big influences of Iron Maiden (particularly the vocal style). Fronted by Francois Bredenkamp an imposing, aggressive and energetic vocalist. Supported on lead guitar by his brother, Dries, a girlfriend on bass and a smooth, hardworking drummer(help anybody?). They had a “tough guys from the south” image, [...]


SMOKE OR FIRE

April 8th, 2008 – 1933 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Smoke or Fire is the latest of gritty post-hardcore bands to emerge from the Southeast’s plentiful punk scene. Some say they are influenced by predecessors like Hot Water Music and Avail, but they also blend in some additional elements of Americana with hints of The Replacements and Springsteen.
To listen go to http://www.smokeorfire.com

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How to Eat a Durian 101

March 9th, 2008 – 0721 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

In 1856, the British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace provided a highly quoted description of the flavour of the durian:
“The five cells are silky-white within, and are filled with a mass of firm, cream-coloured pulp, containing about three seeds each. This pulp is the edible part, and its consistence and flavour are indescribable. A [...]


SIN ME ONCE, SIN ME TWICE

January 15th, 2008 – 1854 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

A second divorce seems imminent for Rhema Bible Church leader Pastor Ray McCauley, 57.
The widely publicised marriage between McCauley and his wife Zelda seems to have hit rock-bottom and the couple have separated.
In 2000, when he was going through a divorce from his first wife Lyndie, McCauley said he did not believe in divorce and [...]


SOUTH AFRICAN ECONOMICS 101 EXPLAINED

January 11th, 2008 – 1346 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

You have two cows.You sell three of them to your JSE publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your BEE partner at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows.
The milk rights of six [...]


SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS ARE LIKE DRUG DEALERS

January 11th, 2008 – 1335 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Drug dealers: Refer to their clients as “users”.Software developers: Refer to their clients as “users”
.Drug dealers:”The first one’s free!”Software developers: “Download a free trial version…”
Drug dealers: Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).Software developers: Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Drug dealers: Strange jargon: “Stick,” “Rock,” “Dime bag,” “E”,”Crack”,”Shoot-up”.Software [...]