KATIE HOLMES DENIES ANAL BLEACHING
(Los Angeles, CA) Courtney Cox, Lara Flynn Boyle and now Katie Holmes? Yesterday, Defamer.com posted a picture of a bleached anus, captioned: “Katie Holmes–2008 New Year’s Resolutuion”. The matter would have pooped out there if a Star reporter hadn’t snapped a picture of Katie Holmes coming out of Pink Cheeks, a Sherman Oaks boutique that offers the service of making “your winkie as white as your smile.” Now in the words of Holmes/Cruise publicist Arnold Robinson, “It’s a shit storm.”
Robinson went on to say, “to conclude, if it was in fact Ms. Holmes coming out of Pink Cheeks, that she bleached her winkie is absurd. May I remind you that Pink Cheeks also offers a range of services, like Brazilians, to which Ms. Holmes, being somewhat hirsute, may have wanted to avail herself.” The owner of Pink Cheeks, Cindy Esser-Thorin, when interviewed by the Associate Press, would not confirm or deny Holmes’ visit. “Sweetie,” said Esser-Thorin, “I’m like a doctor, not a GP but a proctologist. I don’t divulge my patients.”
However, The Associate Press did track down a nurse who was present during the birth of Suri Cruise. The AP would not divulge her name, but the nurse said, “I won’t say if it was black or white. But I will say that if this was Alabama in 1954 that ass would have no problem plunking itself down on a white’s only toilet.” And the matter is threatening to transcend cosmetics. Activist Reverend Al Sharpton today released this statement, “We hear all of this talk out of Hollywood of racial equality. When it comes down to it, it’s the white ass that’s most prized not the black ass. Of course, we still have Halle Berry, but how long before she takes the bleach!” George Clooney also weighed in. “All the work we did to raise consciousness here about Darfur done in by Katie Holmes’ winkie, it’s very disturbing, not to mention disgusting. Who would want to do that job?” Sharpton is also planing a nation wide boycott of Cruise’s Mission Impossible III, which opens this Friday.
Sphere: Related ContentTags: anal, bleached anus, bleaching, Katie Holmes, pink cheeks, save katie, thorin, winkie, Wood
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I guess this is what happens to you when you become a member of the ultimate whackjob religion. Personaly I blame it it on Xenu.
Comment made by Ampie on 20080528 @ 2008 BRAVO