Archive for 200802

Pricasso: Penile Artist Extraordinaire

February 27th, 2008 – 2118 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Timothy James Francis Patch is a crazy Australian artist who specializes in penile art. Penile art is exactly what you imagined it would be, “Pricasso” uses his member as his brush. This nut job will even paint a photo you send it and video tape it for a mere $150.
Check out this gallery of world [...]


ONS

February 25th, 2008 – 1658 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Ons wat nooit die Du Plooys van Soetmelksvlei ontmoet het nie,
ons wat nooit die lem in Tsafendas se hand sien flits het nie,
ons wat nooit opgewonde geraak het oor oorloë op ander grense nie,
ons wat net die gatkant van julle idealisme sien verbyskuif het -
ons voel nie jammer nie,
ons het niks verloor nie:
nie Elvis nie, [...]


VREES EN DEPRESSIE IN LYTTELTON

February 19th, 2008 – 1500 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Andries Bezuidenhout voormalige hoofsanger van die Brixton Moord en Roof Orkes nooi almal uit na die bekendstelling van sy nuwe digbundel RETOER op 20 Februarie om 20:00 by die Steak and Ale in Bothalaan 66, Lyttelton.
Dit is ‘n bietjie “short notice” maar ek is seker daar sal nog plek vir belangstellendes [...]


CRIMES OF FASHION – Muammar al Gaddafi

February 17th, 2008 – 2001 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches, Scandals

Oh deary me.
The Libian leader is wearing a silk embroidered button-up tunic strait out of a Bollywood romantic drama. Draped around his shoulders is a beach towel that would be the envy of any Campsbay moffie. Shading his steely gaze is a pair of 70’s pornstar sunglasses. He is wearing a fez at an [...]


MUSLIM PUSSY

February 16th, 2008 – 2043 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Be afraid. There is a new threat to our fragile Democracy.

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YO MAJESTY – SWING YO TITS FOR JESUS

February 16th, 2008 – 1943 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Yo Majesty is a Christian lesbian hip hop duo who are bitch-slapping stereotypes into submission.
Says Shunda K, andquote: My lyrics are so gay they will split your dick, endquote.
Song titles include: “We want some pussy, face down, ass up”.
Working with Brit producer David Alexander, Yo Majesty are laying down tracks for their debut album.

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WHO IS THIS VALENTINE DUDE ANYWAY?

February 14th, 2008 – 0003 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

St VALENTINE – A priest of Rome who was imprisoned for succouring persecuted Christians. He became a convert and, although he is supposed to have restored the sight of the goaler’s blind daughter, he was clubbed to death (c. 270).
His day is 14 February, as is that of St. Valentine, bishop of Terni, who was [...]


ESKOM – POLITICALY CORRECT

February 11th, 2008 – 1958 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

The use of the term “BLACK OUT” to describe the currant situation is politicaly insensitive. It is a big no-no. From now on we must consider ourselves to be “PREVIOUSLY ENLIGHTENED”.

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ALTERNATIVE ENERGY 101: WOOD

February 10th, 2008 – 1428 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

Wood is highly ecological, since trees are a renewable resource. If you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place. And if you cut down the new tree, still another will grow. And if you cut down that tree, yet another will grow, only this one will be a mutation [...]


ESKOM – save electricity

February 9th, 2008 – 2023 BRAVO
Filed as: Despatches

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